a chat with her

i thought it will never be possible at all, eating and laughing together with your family is the least of all the things i wanna do, yet, here i am having a nice chat with your sister. yes, u are right, i don't like her, i hate her for believing those rumors about me, despite how close we are before she still prefers to be in there side rather than hearing the entire story from me. and yes, you were right again that it was already three years ago, but every time  i remember it,i just cant stop this bad feeling glowing out of me.

my lazy day

something bothers me, through which i don't know the cause.
today,  i woke up feeling lazy. never wanting to stand up, take a bath, to dress up and even pick some food in the table.


just sitting in my bed, i watch my room mates move like birds only stopping when necessary.
i wonder, why am i so unconscious of the time, and why am i squandering it?
i too, cant answer this as of the moment. but, maybe because


 today i don't feel like doing anything (whistling, tootoo to tooo to.. )

remembering then

its not my family, pinay baya ko.
hehehehe

"All at once, I finally took a moment and I'm realizing that ,You're not coming back"


heavy, and feeling about to cry, every time i here this Whitney Houston song, not because i can remember someone who broke my heart , but, because i always hear this song when i was a still a kid.


i miss being a ten year old once again.
to play dolls with my girl friends, imitate our moms in their very red lipstick and wear their high heeled shoes three times bigger than our feet, molding clay with our bare hands in different colors.


i miss being a ten year old once again,
because life was so much simple then, no heart aches, no rejections and failures. 
and, much more, i'm with the presence of every one i value most in my life, my mom, my dad, my brother and my sister. The few people i miss so much now while sitting here and writing this blog.


as a kid, 
we wanna grow up so fast and do the things the old people do. we are so curios to explore the world and experience the truth in life. And now, that i'm here, i now can attest to my self that the old people were right. that we should cherish being young, for when we grow up, we wanna be young again.




"Ever since I met you ,You're the only love I've known ,And I can't forget you ,Though I must face it all alone "


all at once, i wanna be young again and experience the comfort of life with THEM, my so called family.


i miss all of you, so much.

a bad dream

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i felt the heat of the sun, prickling on my skin, wanting to stand up but i was unable to move, i lay there, immobile on my bed for more than thirty minutes, struggling, fighting the unknown battle. 

sweat moisten my skin, my breathing as fast as the motorcycles on the street, 

and then, BANG!

and slowly, from blurred images and sound..

slowly coming back to reality,

i'm finally back, to the world i was into.  

and freed from nightmare,i saw them, my roommates telling me i was DREAMING.

the long road to getting done

at last, i have one signature from the dean, too far from what i had been expecting.
well, i never really did anticipate the crowd.

cold sweat running down my forehead to my throat, such a sticky feeling paired with tired feet,
equals, I WANNA QUIT THIS THING idea in my head.

i expect to see him, him that i have been wanting to see for months, and yet when i'm already in front of him, he pretends not to see me nor hear my voice call his name, twice?three or four times i tried then he finally noticed me. at least he pretends to be excited to see me, but it wasn't what i see nor felt, i sense some fear, fear i know have been there since the last time we hold hands. 


sad, confused and heart broken,

i have to admit,


its finally goodbye, because we have to.

89, the unbelievable number (for some, heheh)

crossed eye brows,a confused face and funny gesture, hahahha..
when, i handed them my accreditation form.
asked different sets of questions answerable by the info i gave them.
do i look like impossible to have a grade of 89?in accounting?

oh well, i also do wonder why.
i dressed well, speak well and have my thoughts delivered well.
again, why? anyway this adds to the already countless number of my BLOOPERS list.

hoaowah.. they asked me so much! in summary, to make the story short,
they had me sent to the registrars office and asked for someones signature,
her name i prefer to be UNKNOWN.

and well, unknown also run through my files and found the same number on my accreditaton form,

its really, 89!


hahahahah